Saturday, January 20, 2007

Maybe Baby

Thank you
because before you
my world can be contained in an atom
because you shattered the cages limiting my imagination
because you took on my dreams and set it aloft
that i was able to touch the fringes of heaven...
because you saw beyond the plainness
because you wanted to discover my secrets
because you allowed me to play with the light
that i might cast colored shadows
upon broken streets and jagged rocks.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall...

Regina Spektor, you can be my twin.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

God and Chess

I agree with Einstein, God doesn't play dice. In fact, if I were to hazard a guess, chess is more His game, only He sees 50 billion or more moves ahead and if He wanted to can probably take you out in less than 3 minutes. Well, I don't play chess. I tried to learn once or twice but I ended up with a massive headache. But, and this is only for the purposes of this monologue, if I do play chess, I would like to think that He wants me to keep on playing. And yes, maybe some pawns will be sacrificed and yes, key pieces will be taken from me, but one thing's for sure, He doesn't want me to lose, which means I'll just have to keep on playing then...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Toiling in the Spirit of Sacrifice

My body is weakened and my mind is tired. But I must continue working in the spirit of sacrifice. I know not when my fears will eclipse my desires. But I must continue working in the spirit of sacrifice.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


I have issues with issues...

Monday, January 8, 2007


Guess what? You crossed my mind less than the usual 15 times. Today it was just 7 or 8, I lost count somewhere along Germanium and creating crossword puzzles. Maybe someday you'll assume the form of sunshine, as constant as the routine of life. Good thing, I never cared too much for the sun. Give me snow, give me rain, give me autumn and its shower of leaves. Summers are best left in the past, joining obscure memories in their graves.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

2 Days

My pain is nothing compared to the man who patiently counts the stars
Or the mother who just disciplined her child.
I cannot compare my woes to the man who walks the footsteps of the Master
Or the woman waiting for her lover.
My tears are nothing against the indifference of the universe
Against the elements that ravage the soul.
I cannot help but surrender.

Friday, January 5, 2007


The north wind is against me. He doesn't try entice me with wanderlust, the desire to start anew leaving everything behind. Maybe my destiny is to grow roots, to scatter seeds from the comfort of my garden, to seek joy from my environment. And yet, my soul is uneasy...

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Clear Skies

It was a beautiful night. Clear and devoid of stars. For some reason, it seemed to me natural, that the moon if she so chooses could reign supreme in the skies. She might wish for the stars' companionship once in a while but alone, she's pure--beauty and light. If I were the moon, I would not retreat from the world or hide behind the curtain of clouds. My light would shine forth in bursts of joy and love.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

And Then...

So what happens next? I guess, we move on to become better people. To be honest, I'm through with the whole martyr bit. For the longest time, I keep telling myself that things will be okay. They finally are. Well maybe not to an ideal state, but enough to keep me looking forward to tomorrow. It's great just knowing that we can continue to exist without depending on each other. This is me. This is who I am now. Miracle of miracles, I actually like myself even without you.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Raptus Regaliter Resolutions

I'm a promiser. I don't even know if that's a word. I'm just thinking it's better than being called a liar or a quitter, or any of those words that make me go, "Ugh, I hate myself!" Not this year. I have so much hope for 2007. Every year, I resolve to do a lot of things--monumental in their capacity to inspire but difficult to put into action. No more. This year, this year will be different. I will be different. I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in my very bones, I can sense it with every cliche I can think of. 2007 will be my year.