Monday, May 26, 2008


You are not much different from the others. Of course, you claim to be special, the antithesis of every man, who has come before you. But let me tell you this...your being different, your being special, I have no use for these things. True, I may not know if it will be sooner or later. But I am quite sure that in the end, you will say the same thing, "I am just a man." And you will leave. And you will wish that you did not say how different you are. And you will be sorry for the efforts you have invested to make me believe in you. And I will cry, yet again. Because maybe, just maybe, I am still like every woman--trying uncertain things at the cost of everything.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Reposted: The Love Letter That Couldn't Write Itself

Words have never failed me. In fact, my biggest consolation in life is that I can always articulate what I know, how I feel and who I am at any point, any way, any junction of life as it unfolds before me. I have never had a problem with searching for the right words, they find me instead, sometimes none too subtly.

My guess is that my writing muse abandoned me, not when I met you, but because I let you take over her space in my head. I imagine her pain as i let the auteur in me slowly atrophy, to a point beyond recognition. You overwhelmed me with emotions and caused me to exist outside myself, the self that delights in weaving yarns and expressing the soul. You were context and subtext, every theme and reason. I was consumed in all the wrong places, robbed of sanity and speech. And only in the cruelest hand of fate, will retaliation be exacted upon me. I cannot be regretful enough for my muse to forgive me. And she has served me with enough ironic sense to let me write you a letter that chokes upon writing itself...I cannot help but try.

And so, a thousand considerations blur the peripheries of my lucidity. I begin to feel physically ill as I struggle through emotions I couldn't identify. The onerous task of projecting thoughts to paper is one that I never feared before. I wanted to dispense with the cliches, the sentimentality, the sheer banality of it all. But there's a greater need for me to have you realize, to have you experience--even for a moment, the chaos in me. For how could you know that you are the axis of my world...That my need to exist is eclipsed by my need for you. Didn't you know that my happiness hinges upon your understanding? If this letter fails, the dam that holds my pain in will break and my soul will shatter.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Newfound Appreciation for Noel Gallagher

I have been listening to this song (this particular version) for two weeks.

I may be developing Asperger's syndrome.

Noel is my new Barney...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Putting LOA to the Test

Happiness is just a few days away.

And it's all because of my renewed faith in the universe.

Monday, May 5, 2008


When I'm profoundly drunk, I like to believe I'm a better person than I truly am. I like to pretend that all the meaningless things I have done, are nothing but natural effects to natural causes. I like to delude myself into thinking that I am much smarter in person, even if reality tells a different story...that I have as much appeal as peeling wallpaper. And that come the daylight, I will sober up and realize how much of a lie I AM.

Pix Credit: