Thursday, September 25, 2008
Its Bullshit by ~chworz on deviantART
because nothing says BS like:
1. A well-placed Latin phrase
Wanna show people you're about as pretentious as Gwyneth's British accent? Then, generously pepper your conversations with "ergo," "quod erat demonstrandum," and "mea culpa." Don't forget to throw in some really obscure ones like "indivisibiliter ac inseparabiliter," "radix malorum est cupiditas," and "abundans cautela non nocet."
Your friends (if you have any at all) will look for your replacement very soon.
2. Quoting bogus statistics
The brilliant folks over at Cracked.com have featured a very informative article about this. Check it out for yourself: http://www.cracked.com/article_16241_6-most-frequently-quoted-bullsht-statistics.html?redux
3. Saying "I love you" on the third date
Really, I should just let my good friend Lyndon explain this one. I cannot in good conscience, deliver such lengthy and tortured explanation with a straight face.
4. Capitulating to the demands of your clients
At some point, you'll either need to grow a pair and do something OR just accept that you're doomed to be trapped in the deepest bowels of bullshitropolis. It's your choice. Personally, I pick the latter option. Bullshitropolis is quite lovely this time of the year.
5. A bullshit generator
Truly, a testament to the amazing power of the Internets (Yes, I said Internets, look up your Bushism people...) Anyway, I've tested some of the BS generators out there, and this: http://emptybottle.org/bullshit/ IMHO is the best.
By the way, using chat speak doth not bullshit make. It just makes you look like an illiterate douchebag. So for future reference, go easy on the LOLs and the BRBs. I promise, it's for your own good.