Monday, November 17, 2008
P.O. Box Kingdom of God
.way to heaven. by ~malta on deviantART
I feel like I'm slowly losing my identity. Maybe it's an occupational hazard, if you consider being part of a family as a full time job. And I don't want to think about resentment, anger, or any negative feeling that takes away from that state of blessedness. Given the life I have had so far - the opportunities, the privileges, I have no right (none, at all) to bemoan the current state of my affairs.
And yet I feel uneasy.
Because try as I might, every look toward the future seems bleak. And it's taking all that I have to just stay afloat. I'm convinced that inevitably, I'll be sucked into a vortex of helplessness.
I pray that God will not begrudge me this gamut of emotions. If only I can salvage the scraps from this excess. Then, I'll have something to build my life raft with...