Putting Speculations to Rest

1. Yes, I am the bastard daughter of Bruce Lee and Mother Lily Monteverde.
2. Yes, I have written a dissertation on "How to Know When You're Clusterfucked!" No, I did not include an instructive pamphlet on how to successfully kill yourself.
3. Yes, I can still get guys half my age. Do the math, I'm 26 years old.
4. Yes, I have an insane fear of all guys named Christian.
5. Yes, I am the master of useless trivia and random randomosities.
6. Yes, I can survive on popcorn and 5 liters of red bull if the situation ever comes up.
7. Yes, I abuse the word schadenfreude.
8. Yes, I am destined for the seventh terrace of purgatory.
9. Yes, I believe Oprah is the Queen of the Multiverse.
10. Yes, I am, therefore I think.