Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Reposted: Knowing Best


I have no right to complain. I have attended enough masses, have learned all I can from nuns, and have practiced Catholicism just for that nugget of wisdom. Although, at this very moment, I am itching, no, dying to give God a piece of my mind. And yes, I am afraid of repercussions. But it seems to me God, being the supreme creature of infinite benevolence, will not smite me for speaking my mind. So I shall, in the manner of Job, and other beings more righteous than I am, get on with my grievances . . .

By my accounting, I am not a bad person. But it seems to me lately, You are having too much fun on my expense. And I do ask You to at least give me an explanation, some hint that You don't hate my guts. The loneliness I feel--if You have any idea that it is eating me alive--You'd have long ago parted the curtains of your celestial abode to give me crumbs from Your table.

And true, I am not the best there is. As far as I know, my talents are mediocre. Do You know that absenting Yourself from my life is not a test, but a cruel punishment? Do You know that I have exhausted all coping mechanisms available just to justify my faith in You?

Do not let me analyze the things that I am, and the things I could have been, for gratitude and regret cannot be separated by mere whim of will.

Disclaimer: I don't own the pix. http://www.progressdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/god.jpg

2 comments:

weird_artistic_gal said...

"Do You know that absenting Yourself from my life is not a test, but a cruel punishment? Do You know that I have exhausted all coping mechanisms available just to justify my faith in You?"

-pwede kang kantahan ng "Footprints in the Sand" dito. hehehe. Keep on praying. :)

emerson kim said...

wow!
that nugget of wisdom...
hehe...
you're brave, i can't even imagine asking (talking to) God that way..
hehe..