Saturday, August 11, 2007

Full Disclosure

In classic Liz Lemon style,

Here's all my weird secret (and not-so-secret) stuff...

I never caught a dragonfly, either through sheer stupidity or just plain rotten luck.

When I was four or five, I thought my cousin's house was the entire Cavite area. Of course, when I got lost on the way to the local sari-sari, I had to ask their neighbor, "nasan po ang Cavite?" Needless to say, I still get ribbed for that shtick up to this day.

I used to act out scenes from local drama films. This was sometime in the mid-80s.

In the middle of one scene, I peed my shorts, but professional that I was, I didn’t stop until the scene was over.

I failed Statistics and Calculus ('nuff said).

My kindergarten teacher whacked my hands with a ruler when she saw my dirty fingernails. This perhaps explains my unhealthy obsession with making my nails as pudpod as possible.

The first time I used a sanitary napkin, I thought girls were supposed to use the adhesive side to capture "everything." In case, you are wondering, that really, really hurt!

At any given moment, whenever people ask me if I'm Chinese, the BS artist in me prods me to say, "No, I'm Vietnamese/Cambodian/Hawaiian."

I cannot take a bath without spraying the four corners of the bathroom with perfume.

On several occasions, I have challenged God to a duel.

I hate Sarah Geronimo. I know, I know, even Melo tells me she's all sweetness and light. Maybe it's synchronicity, or some shit like that. Something tells me, she murdered my family in the 14th Century. I could be wrong.

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