Wednesday, January 7, 2009
At first I couldn’t understand how someone like you could like someone like me. You were perfect in every way I wasn’t. I was particularly drawn to how you were exceptionally gracious in situations where most people would be showing their true colors. You had warmth that made me want to dip my toes into what seemed like very deep waters. You were Father Christmas, Gandhi, and John Lennon rolled into one person. In short, you were a dream and I was, well, I was the anti-dream.
Naturally, I had my reservations. I kept thinking about what other people would say. I was scared they’d take one look at us and shake their heads in wonder. I worried and worried until I was too tired to muster a single thought. In the end though, I just went with my greed and allowed us to be.
Of course, I was happy. Crazy happy. Who wouldn’t be? By then, I had resolved not to look this gift horse in the mouth. The extent of my happiness was such that had the world been torn into three pieces, I wouldn’t have noticed. It was insane. I was insane. But like I said, I was too happy to care.
Then came the day of reckoning. Actually, days of reckoning. It was Murphy’s Law. No, it was Murphy’s Extended Law. All of a sudden, you became another person. The kindness was gone. The charms I believed you possessed dissipated into thin air. You were still you, just not the you I had believed myself to be in love with. I was left thinking I had been with an impostor. “I was duped,” was the only explanation that made sense to me.
And did you take responsibility for it? No, you did not. I was broken in ways I did not know were possible. I realized now that you had it all planned from the start. In the end, it was my fault for falling into your traps.